


Custom Order

by surrealmeme



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, First Meetings, M/M, Magical Realism, Small Business AU, basically loras and magaery (although she's not mentioned in this one lmao) run a magic store, love potions but not really, magic herbs and flowers too, renly vents about stannis's repressed homosexuality lmao, they sell low to moderate level/strength potions spells talismans and stuff like that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:14:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26744212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/surrealmeme/pseuds/surrealmeme
Summary: There’s a man gazing intently at one entry in the potion catalog—inquire for custom orders. And Loras justknowshe’s come in to ask for a love potion of some sort. A shame, really; he was just Loras’s type.“We don’t do love potions or any other magical aphrodisiacs here,” Loras firmly explained. “No need to be putting another date rape drug on the market, y’know? Not really the kind of image we want to build for ourselves.”
Relationships: Renly Baratheon/Loras Tyrell
Kudos: 30





	Custom Order

There’s a man gazing intently at one entry in the potion catalog— _inquire for custom orders_. And Loras just _knows_ he’s come in to ask for a love potion of some sort. A shame, really; he was just Loras’s type.

“We don’t do love potions or any other magical aphrodisiacs here,” Loras firmly explained. “No need to be putting another date rape drug on the market, y’know? Not really the kind of image we want to build for ourselves.”

The man flushed and went to push his dark auburn hair from his face. He did it again, then once more—a nervous tic, must be.

“That’s—that’s not what I was asking for, you must’ve misunderstood,” he quickly said. “I don’t really know much about potion or magic, maybe I said the wrong thing.”

Deciding to give him the benefit of the doubt (and seeing this as a chance to gain a loyal customer), Loras said,

“We’re not too busy right now. How about you go and sit in the café area, and I’ll help you work out what you need?”

And there it was, the Tyrell charm. A marked contrast from just moments before, the sharp angles of Loras’s face softened with a winning smile, his bright green eyes danced with mirth.

Bringing over a piece of paper and a tray holding a pot of herbal tea and its matching mug, Loras sat across from the man. He pulled a thick, sturdy pencil from his pocket and said,

“So, what do you really need, ah—”

“Renly.”

“Excellent. What do you need, Renly?”

Renly took a deep breath and slightly wrinkled his brow, as if preparing to tell a long and really quite annoying story.

“Well, I have this older brother. An absolute bore of a man—he’s like a rock that comes to life only to stare disapprovingly at you. Anyway, he’s married to this lady that’s just as bad as him. They hate each other, and she’s legit obsessed with this crazy fire cult leader! He says the only reason he won’t leave her is their kid—but she fucking hates the girl!”

Renly took a breath, sipped at his tea. Loras took the chance to intervene.

“So, you need something to get him to see that he should divorce her?”

Renly shook his head.

“Yeah, but not really. It’s more complicated than that.”

“Well, do tell.”

Renly obliged.

“Well, there’s this other guy,” he started, “my brother’s best friend—only friend. They’ve known each other for, like, forever, and he’s the only person my brother actually smiles around. And he adores Shireen, the kid. She calls him uncle, but I’m willing to bet she sees him as more of a dad than her actual father.

“And you know what? Both he and my brother have been hopelessly in love with each other for _ages_. I’ve tried to tell him as much, but he just says he’s straight and I’m biased because I’m actually gay! I swear, have you _ever_ seen a worse case of repressed homosexuality?”

 _Fuck, he’s gay, too_ , was what Loras thought.

“You need a clarity potion,” was what Loras said. “The issue’s related to love, so you thought you needed a love potion, which is understandable. But what your brother really needs is to see himself objectively, without his excuses or relationships getting in the way.”

“Yes! Exactly,” Renly said. “You have to make him pull his head out his ass before I lose my mind.”

“Mm, we can’t be having that, now can we?” Loras replied, voice a little mischievous, just to see how Renly would react.

“It was sharp enough to get me here with you, so no, I’d rather keep it.”

_Oh?_

“Now, does dear big brother have any allergies?”

Renly burst into bright peals of laughter.

“You’re a regular ol’ pharmacist now—“ he paused, looking for a name.

“Loras.”

“No, Loras the pharmacist, my brother is happily allergy-free.

“Perfect. Your order’ll be ready in a week, but feel free to come in and, ah, _check on it_.”

“Inviting me back now that you know I’m not going around looking for love potions?”

 _Oh, fuck it_.

“I’m not worried about that,” Loras said. “It’s not like you’d ever need one.”

“You think so? How ‘bout you let me prove you right?”

“What, you angling for a discount? You’ll need more than one date for that.”

“Looking to become a regular, actually.”

“A regular, you say? I think I can see that happening.”


End file.
